Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
