Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
