I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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