Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
