i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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