Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
