your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I see more hoeing in ur future
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
