I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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