i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The power of my boobs compel you
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
