I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
