Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
