He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
