how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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