hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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