So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
