Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
