come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She's the barista slut.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I enjoy the company of your penis
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
