im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
