theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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