it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
