you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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