how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
