I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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