using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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