I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize