I think I died a long time ago.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
