Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
