i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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