Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
