I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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