I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I believe in your delicious
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize