Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
40s are totally the cure
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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