I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
