I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
