your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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