it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
