I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
