I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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