I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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