Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
