dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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