Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
