Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
