i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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