so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
