you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
