this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize