i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he puts the penis in happiness.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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