Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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