u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
