I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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