I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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