I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
