Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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