god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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