im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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