I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
