There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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