Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
