i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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