I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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