Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
