I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
