Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
