just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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