I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
