you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
