Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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