After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
