No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
